Bridesmaids Role According To My Bridesmaids

I have 5-7 bridesmaids depending on how you look at it.  2 of them are my maids of honor, the rest are bridesmaids.  According to a few of my bridesmaids, their job is to be in the wedding. That's it.  They don't help with wedding tasks, they don't really do anything.  They have said "me being in your wedding is my gift to you"...um, kthanks.  That is truly all I wanted...ever...in life.  Considering how much I am "DIY"-ing in this wedding, you would think that I would be super mad at my bridesmaids and get all bridezilla on them.  But honestly, I am not.  Yeah sometimes I am super stressed and need their help.  But at the end of the day, I chose them to stand by my side on the biggest day of my life, not be my minions.  Do I appreciate the help that some of the other bridesmaids have given me? OF COURSE! But I don't require my bridesmaids to be my slaves.  It was my decision to do a lot of things myself instead of buying them.  Thankfully, my mother is helping A TON!  Without her, maybe I would have been on my bridesmaids more to help.  But in all reality, I just need them to be by my side, look pretty (easy for them), and have fun. Bam, bridesmaids in a nutshell.

That's my bridesmaid in a nutshell

According to wikipedia, "The bridesmaids are members of the bride's wedding party in a wedding. A bridesmaid is typically a young woman, and often a close friend or sister. She attends to the bride on the day of a wedding or marriage ceremony. Traditionally, bridesmaids were chosen from unwed young women of marriageable age."  Nowhere does it say slave or minion.  I'm beginning to think that the role for a bridesmaid has somehow gotten altered throughout the years.  I am assuming it went something like the game telephone; "bridesmaids" got lost in translation.

Now, maid of honor is a different story. Maid of honor DOES have a few more responsibilities.  Like the bridal shower and bachelorette party and a few things directly on the wedding day.  But that's about it.  I was watching a "Bachelorette Party Las Vegas" episode and there was a bride who has actually KICKED OUT her MOH AND 2 bridesmaids.  I mean seriously?  She had weekly bridesmaids meetings and if they didn't show up, they're kicked out. Also if they do something to upset her, they get kicked out. It was like Hitler + Bridezilla = this woman.  

I realize that my post has gotten a little off topic.  Started out being about bridesmaids and somehow, like the game of telephone, has turned into a different post.  For the most part though, my topic has stayed the same.  It's my definition (and my bridesmaids's definitions) of what a bridesmaid is.  My bridesmaids are not the most "GUNG HO - let's help out the bride" type of people, but they are there when it counts the most to me.  They are there for emotional support, there to lend a helping hand, there to visit vendors with me when I need someone else's opinion.  I don't want a bunch of people following me around everywhere I go, tiptoeing as to not upset me.  I don't want droids in an assembly line doing what I say.  I want the people I chose to be by my side and be the people that I fell in love with.  Everyone has their own life, and obviously their lives don't revolve around my wedding.  Nobody is as obsessed with it as I am, so why put the pressure on other people?  They're my friends, my family, my confidantes, my bridesmaids.  I do not own them, I do not control them.  They help when I ask, and sometimes even help when I don't ask.  My one sister helped me lick envelopes for thank you's the other day, and that was SO sweet.  I had no intention of having her help.  I was stuffing thank you's while we were watching TV and she volunteered to help.  THAT is why I chose my bridesmaids.  That, and because they're frickin awesome.  I appreciate their help so much, but I honestly don't feel like I expect it.  When it comes closer to the wedding, I know they'll be helping me out more as I need it.  But that's it, and that's all that matters.  


Do you expect a lot from your bridesmaids?  Did you when you were engaged?  What makes a bridezilla feel so entitled?