Sugar Isn't Cheese?

Today is officially one month out from the wedding.  That means tomorrow, I will have less than a month until I become a wife.  When... did this happen?!?

I feel like when I first got engaged, I started planning SO much and got SO much taken care of that I figured I would be completely done with everything by a couple months out.  The next thing I realize, I have one month until the big day...and I have a list as long as Santa's naughty list of things I still need to do.  If you don't think Santa's naughty list is long, you obviously haven't seen teenagers on Facebook lately.


Granted, everything I have left to do is minor, but I would rather have one LARGE thing to do instead of 1,000 tiny things to do.  I think it doesn't help that I also have to plan Christmas, the honeymoon, and moving.  That is a WHOLE bunch of things to consider.  I sat down today and attempted to make a list of my to-do's, and it completely took me off guard.  I thought it would have six bullet points, not 600.  I immediately went into anxiety mode and wanted to cancel tanning, massages, work outs, basically anything that stood in the way of me completing this to do list by the wedding.  CLEAR MY CALENDAR! NO PLANS FOR A MONTH! I GOT STUFF TO DO!


Luckily my fiance and my MOH slapped reality into my head and helped me realize I CAN get this stuff done.  I have the help of my family, my friends, and luckily my fiance since he'll be in town for a whole week!  BUT, that doesn't change the fact that I do indeed only have a month.  One month left in my "single" life, one month left to not be a MRS, one month left of having my last name.  Every possible emotion that anyone could possibly feel is being felt by me right now.  It's a lot to handle.  Good thing is that at the end of this stress tunnel, there is a bright light.  I will be a wife, a partner, a better half.  Until that day happens though, I am stressed, sleepy, and all over the place.


What are some good stress relievers I should try?  How can I not let my stress get in the way of accomplishing everything I need to accomplish?  What are some things that as a bride, I NEED to try to remember that a lot of people sometimes forget?  HELP ME PLEASE! ADVICE WELCOME!

Balloons, Schmalloons

Balloons are fun, whimsical, and cheap!  Birthday parties, festivals, and special days are times I love to incorporate balloons.  

Cute balloon for Mother's Day

Cute balloons for my bridal shower

However, on one of the most special days of my life, I really don't think balloons are appropriate.  I think balloons cheapen the look of a wedding.  I am not saying that they necessarily ARE cheap, but I feel like they make the wedding look like it wasn't put together ahead of time so someone just threw in balloons.  That's my personal opinion at least.  I don't know what has caused my dislike of balloons at weddings, I have never been to a wedding with balloons.  I just know that I despise them.  Look at the way balloons change the look of a wedding.

Columned Entry way with balloons

Columned Entry way without balloons

Dance floor with balloons

Dance Floor without balloons

Balloon Arch

Non-balloon Arch

Balloon Centerpiece

Tall and Colorful NON balloon centerpiece

Do you see what I see?  The pictures without balloons are much better, and not just because I chose amazing photos.  The pictures that are balloon free just look more elegant, more grown up, more special.  The balloons make me think of a kid's birthday party.  Yes, I know they can be in-expensive, but why can't people find a better way to use them?  I was beginning to think it was hopeless until I came across some of these inspirational balloon pictures.  I've decided if you MUST have balloons, this is the way to go.

I love this picture, although it could be because they're getting rid of balloons

These balloons are up high enough to where they add a little somethin' somethin' to the ceiling but not destroy the look of the venue

Love the look of balloons? Go with lanterns! So cutesie!

Absolutely can't live without balloons? Use them in your engagement shoot!

I don't get it. I wasn't attacked by balloons as a child, they didn't carry away my best friend, and I never swallowed one and almost died.  I can't say I have any rational reason for hating balloons at a wedding, besides the fact that they make me think of a Vegas wedding.  Have you seen any elegant or interesting balloon arrangements at weddings?  What did you think about brides who chose to use balloons in lieu of other decor?

I Forgot WHAT?!?

I am a planner.  I plan pretty much everything in my life...although often things don't go according to plan.  I pack for vacations weeks in advance, I like to know my weekend plans on Monday of that week, and I tend to go a little overboard when planning even the smallest of get togethers.  So when it came to my wedding, naturally I over-planned everything to the last detail, just as expected.


Tears of joy packets were finished about 7 months before the wedding, cake was chosen 7 months before the wedding, invitations were ordered MONTHS before wedding checklists recommend people order them, and even my makeup/hair artist was booked way before normal people even consider booking one.  So, there you have it, each and every little thing was considered.  Yay me!

Happy kitten proud of herself

Well, it's 32 days until my wedding and I recently realized I forgot one tiny, yet important detail.  Somehow amongst all the organizing and planning, I forgot a ring bearer pillow.  Seriously? How did that happen? This was one thing I had looked at right when I was engaged and chose my theme!  In fact, I even sent images of ones I liked to my mother about a week into wedding planning!!  So now, one month out from the wedding, I have to get a ring bearer pillow.  I don't want anything super unique, like a bowl or anything, but I think I don't have enough time to order one in my theme colors. 


So, now I have to find a pillow.  Here are some I like, and they match my theme.  Although I did want one a LITTLE bit different, but I kind of ruined that by forgetting about the pillow.

Image Via Etsy shop Simply Bridal

Image Via ETSY shop Comfy Heaven

Image Via ETSY shop Comfy Heaven

Image Via ETSY shop SolBijou

Image Via ETSY shop SLJ Bridal

I could honestly keep posting pictures of ring bearer pillows I love.  However, I would probably need them custom done because some of my favorites are the correct theme, but not color.  Or correct color, but need more OOMPH.  With only a month left, I don't have time to have one custom made.  My mom could probably make one of these, but she is busy doing more important tasks, ones that matter a LOT to me.  So...it's crunch time.  My options are to try to get one of the above made, buy a random one, or buy a random one and attempt to customize it myself.  Here are some simple ones that I could try to jazz up.

Lillian Rose Ring Bearer pillow via Michaels.com

Image Via WrapWithUs.com

Meh.  They're ok, but not what I want.  I know it's not a big deal, it's a pillow, but I want one that is a little more unique.  But not so unique that it's hard to find.  And I don't feel like making one.  I have good intentions, but I am more the "start a craft" kind of person, not a "finish a craft" person.  My mom usually finishes the crafts I start.


I am not planning on using this pillow as a throw pillow on my couch or bed, but I would like it to be cute and not generic.  Considering how much thought I am putting into everything else, I truly hate the idea of just buying a pillow off the store shelf.  So I am kind of torn.  I have 32 days...well technically more like 30 considering today is almost over and I would like it BEFORE the day of my wedding.  So, what should I do?  Buy a regular pillow and attempt to decorate it myself?  Buy one off ETSY that is beautiful but pay a little more and get it rushed?  Or what about trying to find a pillow already that has some teal on it?  These all seem like good options, yet my lovely bridal brain can't seem to think of what to do.  So...HELP!!!!! I cannot believe I overlooked this...oopsies.

Bridesmaids Role According To My Bridesmaids

I have 5-7 bridesmaids depending on how you look at it.  2 of them are my maids of honor, the rest are bridesmaids.  According to a few of my bridesmaids, their job is to be in the wedding. That's it.  They don't help with wedding tasks, they don't really do anything.  They have said "me being in your wedding is my gift to you"...um, kthanks.  That is truly all I wanted...ever...in life.  Considering how much I am "DIY"-ing in this wedding, you would think that I would be super mad at my bridesmaids and get all bridezilla on them.  But honestly, I am not.  Yeah sometimes I am super stressed and need their help.  But at the end of the day, I chose them to stand by my side on the biggest day of my life, not be my minions.  Do I appreciate the help that some of the other bridesmaids have given me? OF COURSE! But I don't require my bridesmaids to be my slaves.  It was my decision to do a lot of things myself instead of buying them.  Thankfully, my mother is helping A TON!  Without her, maybe I would have been on my bridesmaids more to help.  But in all reality, I just need them to be by my side, look pretty (easy for them), and have fun. Bam, bridesmaids in a nutshell.

That's my bridesmaid in a nutshell

According to wikipedia, "The bridesmaids are members of the bride's wedding party in a wedding. A bridesmaid is typically a young woman, and often a close friend or sister. She attends to the bride on the day of a wedding or marriage ceremony. Traditionally, bridesmaids were chosen from unwed young women of marriageable age."  Nowhere does it say slave or minion.  I'm beginning to think that the role for a bridesmaid has somehow gotten altered throughout the years.  I am assuming it went something like the game telephone; "bridesmaids" got lost in translation.

Now, maid of honor is a different story. Maid of honor DOES have a few more responsibilities.  Like the bridal shower and bachelorette party and a few things directly on the wedding day.  But that's about it.  I was watching a "Bachelorette Party Las Vegas" episode and there was a bride who has actually KICKED OUT her MOH AND 2 bridesmaids.  I mean seriously?  She had weekly bridesmaids meetings and if they didn't show up, they're kicked out. Also if they do something to upset her, they get kicked out. It was like Hitler + Bridezilla = this woman.  

I realize that my post has gotten a little off topic.  Started out being about bridesmaids and somehow, like the game of telephone, has turned into a different post.  For the most part though, my topic has stayed the same.  It's my definition (and my bridesmaids's definitions) of what a bridesmaid is.  My bridesmaids are not the most "GUNG HO - let's help out the bride" type of people, but they are there when it counts the most to me.  They are there for emotional support, there to lend a helping hand, there to visit vendors with me when I need someone else's opinion.  I don't want a bunch of people following me around everywhere I go, tiptoeing as to not upset me.  I don't want droids in an assembly line doing what I say.  I want the people I chose to be by my side and be the people that I fell in love with.  Everyone has their own life, and obviously their lives don't revolve around my wedding.  Nobody is as obsessed with it as I am, so why put the pressure on other people?  They're my friends, my family, my confidantes, my bridesmaids.  I do not own them, I do not control them.  They help when I ask, and sometimes even help when I don't ask.  My one sister helped me lick envelopes for thank you's the other day, and that was SO sweet.  I had no intention of having her help.  I was stuffing thank you's while we were watching TV and she volunteered to help.  THAT is why I chose my bridesmaids.  That, and because they're frickin awesome.  I appreciate their help so much, but I honestly don't feel like I expect it.  When it comes closer to the wedding, I know they'll be helping me out more as I need it.  But that's it, and that's all that matters.  


Do you expect a lot from your bridesmaids?  Did you when you were engaged?  What makes a bridezilla feel so entitled?

I've Been Missing And I Know It

Is there a word for feeling even more than overwhelmed? Like...overwhelmed ^ overwhelmed power?  Because that describes me lately.  I LOVE writing, in fact writing is what calms me down. Yet lately I don't even have time or motivation to write. My brain is everywhere, I can't pinpoint what I am thinking, and I certainly can't get it written down.  My normal "million miles a minute" seems like a vacation from the way my mind is working now.  It's actually quite frustrating.  I haven't gotten good sleep, my hunger comes in spurts (no hunger then binge eating the next week), and I can't tell up from down.  I am not sure what's going on.  The wedding is fast approaching, but I have a lot of the wedding tasks done.  Honestly, if I made myself sit down and do nothing but wedding tasks for just one weekend, I would be completely finished.  I truly don't have a lot left.  So why do I feel so stretched?

My dress is in and it fits, my veil is in, my shoes are in, my vendors are almost all paid for, my honeymoon is booked and paid for, everything is ordered, only a couple RSVP are outstanding...so what the golly?


I feel like I am in a Japanese movie that has been translated to English.  My mouth does not match what I am thinking OR what I am saying.  I can't seem to focus, can't seem to prioritize, and can't pinpoint what I am thinking.  I know I have been sick for a few weeks, but that shouldn't be affecting my brain. Should it?  I know lack of sleep can make someone lose their mind, but I feel like losing my mind is CAUSING my lack of sleep.  Stupid cycle.

I wish I could figure out where my anxiety is coming from, but I can't. Which makes it hard to talk myself out of this nonsense.  I'll just keep swimming, I know all will be ok.

Purse-ing It Up

Here is a decision I never thought I would have to make regarding my wedding.  Do I do a money dance?  

I have had my coordinator and DJ ask me that question and at the time I said I don't know.  However, while reading my ever faithful Wedding Bee, I saw a post where a bride was wondering the same thing.  Should she do a money dance?  And it made me realize I only have a month and a half before my wedding and I need to make this decision.  Why do I need to make it so soon?  Well first of all, I'll need a purse, something I originally opted out of because I figured I would lose it.  Secondly, I'll need to tell my coordinator so she can put it in the timeline.


What is a money dance?  Basically guests give money to dance with the bride.  It's a fun way for the couple to make money for their honeymoon and also gives guests one on one time with the bride which is hard to come by.  Once you give money for a dance, you dance with the bride until someone else gives money.  I have a feeling this could turn into a competition with my friends and family, but a FUN competition.


It's not a big deal either way.  But it is something I need to consider.  There are a few downsides.  First, what if nobody pays...and I just stand there...alone...rejected by my guests.  


Second, I look like a fool when I dance.  If people are paying to dance with me, they should get a good dancer.  Not this.

Last downside is that I really don't know if I want people to feel obligated to give us even more than they already have.  While I know this is a fun tradition in many cultures, I don't know if it's worth it to seem like we expect even more from our guests.


I think our deciding factor will be whether or not it is something that either of our families think is appropriate.  If it turns out that one of our family members thinks this is part of their culture, we'll do it.  Otherwise, I think we'll decide this isn't for us.  But who knows, it's always nice to have some more money.

Needing Some Socks

I have noticed "cold feet" is not something you hear brides talking about.  They talk about the excitement, the vendors, the drama with the bridal party, etc., but not cold feet.  It's almost taboo to discuss cold feet.  If you discuss it, you risk looking like you're not dedicated, not in love, or even getting married for the wrong reasons.  People who are married don't seem to remember that they once had cold feet, and people who aren't married don't understand what it's like to fear your life changing forever.  When I say fear, I don't mean "OMG THIS IS THE WORST DECISION I EVER MADE!! HOW AM I GOING TO GET OUT OF THIS!!" but more like "How will I be as a wife?  Will I live up to the expectations?  How will it change me as a person to be married?"


I have noticed that it seems to be more common for men to admit to cold feet.  However, women get cold feet just as often.  Women are just more afraid to admit it.  Men see it as a normal right of passage.  Women see it as being a bad, naughty bride.

No, not this kind of naughty bride

In reading more about cold feet, aka pre wedding jitters, I learned it gets even MORE common 1-2 months out from the wedding date.  I hit my two month countdown on October 16...could explain my high levels of anxiety lately... and my crankiness.  Thankfully I decided to reach out to friends, my fiance, and the ever faithful Google to find out about cold feet.  I learned it's very common, it doesn't mean you are marrying the wrong person, and the cold feet go away.  


I read a really good article on The Knot.com that explained a lot about cold feet and even gave a REALLY good description of things that they feel are real reasons to call off or postpone a wedding.  Luckily, I suffer from absolutely none of those worries.  My worries stem most from just the anxiety of everything changing and the wedding fast approaching.  I am actually really glad I reached out to people and read on this topic because it's something that I really think you need to tell someone about.  When you voice it out loud that you're having doubts, you realize how stupid the doubts are.  To sit there saying "I love this person, we get along wonderfully, they're my best friend, they're always there for me, they will make a wonderful parent...but I am not sure I should marry them" really makes a person aware of the fact that what they're worrying about is normal and absurd.


Cold feet are normal and manageable, so just bring me a pair of socks.